Favorite Christmas Tradition: CHRISTMAS CARDS (free from Shutterfly!)

Can you believe it’s November 8th? Neither can I! The Holiday Season got kicked off this past weekend for me, when some girl’s from college and I saw the musical White Christmas in Atlanta. It got me pretty pumped about the Holiday Season. I think my rule for not listening to Christmas music until after Thanksgiving may get debunked this year! One of my favorite things about the Holiday Season is hearing from family and friends when we receive Christmas Cards. This year is even more exciting now that we have an adorable bundle of joy to showcase on her first Christmas card!

Our first choice for any type of media that showcases our pictures is Shutterfly. I have used Shutterfly to share pictures of our family with extended family and friends. I have used Shutterfly to create Caby Grace’s baby book using one of their photo books. Many Christmas presents being given this year are coming from Shutterfly. So it should only be expected that Shutterfly will be doing our Christmas Cards and let me tell you they have quite the selection. They have flat cards, folded cards, 4x8 cards, 5x7 cards and many other options. You can find religious designs, contemporary designs, and classic designs. Our tradition is that we keep all our Christmas Cards in a scrap book. For this reason we always have flat cards. I have scrapbook full of 26 years of Christmas Cards. This is the one I think we will most likely use for our family this year….






I like that it is simple, yet elegant. I like that it is Christmas colors yet they are soft, not gaudy red and green. Of course my favorite aspect is that the photo is showcased front and center.

You should take some time and search the 100’s of Shutterfly options for your family Christmas card at http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-cards. They also have Christmas Gift Tags that you can find at http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-gift-tags. In addition a wall calendar with pictures of your family would be a great Christmas Gift! Start designing yours now at http://www.shutterfly.com/calendars/wall-calendars. You can even get 50 cards free. Find out how here: http://bit.ly/sfly2010

We look forward to hearing from your family this Holiday Season!

Reflections from Royse City

I have been meaning to write down this post (which has been floating around in my head) for the past few weeks. At the end of each season I like to remember what I learned and how I was transformed as I transition into a new season. So here are the 5 Reflections from Royse City.

5. 280 Traffic you will cause me to sin no more. I love Dallas. I wish we would have lived in Dallas. I wish we would have spent more time in Dallas. BUT Dallas traffic is hell. If I ever live in a big city again it will be one with descent public transportation. 280 you own me no more.

4. REAL Mexican food is DELISH! Glorias and Joe T's you will be missed. Thank you Chuy's for following me home!

3. The Simple Life is more. It took 15 minutes to get to a descent restaurant or movie, 40 to a descent mall. We went to 2 movies and the mall maybe 4 times. We barely ate out. Only Mexican. I wasn't up to date on the latest fashion, didn't flit money away on food, and my social life was a bare minimum. My life was much fuller. I pray I don't get sucked back into the more is more life, here in Birmingham.

2. My relationship with the Lord is more personal and intimate. Community is good, but sometimes community gets enmeshed. Before you realize it you aren't sure you are doing the things you do because you want to or because everyone else is doing them. In RC I learned I am doing what I do because I love the Lord. We had to self feed. My only accountability was my husband. And I had to rely on God for more things in my life than ever before. The result: me more in love with him.

1. My marriage grew more than I can describe. In fact I think all newly married couples should be dumped out in the "country" away from community and family and restruants and movies and malls. I can't really even articulate the changes in our marriage, but I can tell you I value my husband, his leadership in our family, and spending time with him more than I ever did before. I am much more in love with him today than I was when I drove to TX with him. My prayer is that God guards the intimacy he has given to us and we learn to guard the intimacy he has given to us in the midst of all things that lure and entice here in Birmingham.

Rewards in Heaven

I got a 4.0 this semester. One of the things I like most about school is that you work really hard all semester and at the end you get an evaluation. If you do good you get a good grade and praise. If you do bad, you should have worked harder. There are parts of the semester that aren't fun, (i.e. tests) but if you work hard, you do well, you make the grade, you get praised. The studying for the test pays off. There are parts of the process you like (i.e. papers- yes I like to write papers!) you enjoy them while you are doing them and then get the added bonus of an evaluation and praise if you do good.

Work is similar. You work hard, meet a deadline, get recongnition. Exercise is also similar. Set a a goal complete the goal you feel accomplishment. So far being a stay at home mom doesn't really do that for me.

There are parts I hate: cleaning the house (especially keeping it in "show" condition), laundry, ironing, cooking, grocery shopping, changing diapers, calming down a fussy baby, dishes etc. but to make matters worse there is no evaluation. No opportunity to earn the grade per say. It's not like after you spend the day doing loads and loads of laundry, folding, ironing, and putting away clothes you can get online and an "A" pops up for folding laundry. I know my family appreciates these medial tasks I do and my husband thanks me and encourages me all the time, but its not the same as receiving an evaluation and feeling proud of the work you have done.

There are things I LOVE about being a stay at home mom: snuggling with my daughter while she eats while making the cutest baby noises in the world, giving her a bath and watching her splash and play and her smell when she is fresh and clean, laying on the floor with her while she plays on her play gym and watching her laugh and squeal at the dumb little bird that hangs above her, carrying on a conversation with her (yes- I talk and she baby babbles back), the smile I get when I go get her in the middle of the night to feed her, the crazy dance parties we have with her stuffed animals in her room, playing dress up, how when she is playing in her bouncy seat every once in awhile she looks for me to make sure I am still there and the smile on her face when she sees I haven't left her, the joy of seeing her learn something new, praying over her and telling her all about Jesus and the gospel even when she has no clue what I am saying.

These things I love about being a mom but even these don't really give me a sense of accomplishment. There isn't an evaluation for how well you lay on the floor and make your baby laugh or for how much dancing you do during a stuffed animal dance party.

Many times at the end of the day I reflect on my day and think what have I done today. That's when the feeling of being lazy and unproductive creeps in. I often find myself feeling defeated thinking I haven't done anything of importance or value. I don't feel any sense of pay off for the hard work of the day. Now, I know all the things listed above are really important in the life of my family (& at times they are exhausting & much harder than working outside the home) but they don't produce the sense of accomplishment that a 4.0, a task completed at the office, or an extra mile on the end of a run do.

Not sure what this says about me. Maybe it reveals my sinful need for the approval and praise of man over God. Maybe it just confirms my identity is still rooted in what I do versus whose I am. Or maybe it is just a lesson in obedience. Obedience doesn't always produce rewards here on earth. Obedience produces rewards in heaven.

Repentance

I find myself asking my husband for forgiveness a lot lately. Not sure what is up, but I am just cranky and irritable a lot more than usual. Luckily I have a husband who truly lives out the gospel and loves me patiently even when I do not deserve it.

I have tried for sometime to blame my mood on lack of sleep. Our 12 week old is definitely doing better in the area of sleep but just can't seem to get over the hump to sleep all night every night. She goes to bed at 8:30 and wakes up at 3:30 or 4, eats, and then wakes up around 7 or 8. It really isn't bad but I find those middle of the night feedings catch up with me eventually (or so I blame my irritability on them.) I have tried to use them as my excuse but was convicted several days ago they aren't.

You see I have been desperate for sleep when in fact I should be desperate for the spirit. While reading Radical, I stumbled upon this. Matthew 7 Jesus is teaching on prayer and says "How much more will your father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him." In a similar occurrence in Luke 11 Jesus says "How much more will your father give the holy spirit to those who ask him!" See when we ask for "good gifts" like comfort, guidance, discernment or in my case sleep and God give us so much more. He give us the comforter, the helper, the spirit of wisdom, or in my case the source of my strength.

God takes time from sustaining the entire world and comes to me in the form of the spirit and the spirit is my comfort, my patience, my wisdom, my strength. I have him, not just the characteristic I need to not chew my husband's head off. So again I find myself running to my knees in repentance begging the spirit for his fruits to be made real in my life and then humbly approaching my husband to apologize and ask for forgiveness for being mean and irritable.

Thank you God for your grace and thank you JK for living out the gospel in our marriage.

It's not Radical. It's just Biblical.

"I’d rather have Jesus than silver or gold; I’d rather be His than have riches untold; I’d rather have Jesus than houses or lands, I’d rather be led by His nail pierced hand. Than to be a king of a vast domain Or be held in sin’s dread sway, I’d rather have Jesus than anything This world affords today. I’d rather have Jesus than men’s applause; I’d rather be faithful to His dear cause; I’d rather have Jesus than world-wide fame, I’d rather be true to His holy name.He’s fairer than lilies of rarest bloom; He’s sweeter than honey from out of the comb; He’s all that my hungering spirit needs,I’d rather have Jesus and let Him lead."

The closer I get in my relationship to God the more I hate the sin in my life. More specifically the more I hate the materialism in my life. As I sit here and reread those lyrics, I think yes "I would rather have Jesus than this or that" but then I notice the designer jeans I am currently wearing (that I am embarrassed to say how much I paid for) and I wonder if I would I really "rather have Jesus?" Let's pretend for a minute that there aren't billions of people in the world living in poverty and that God doesn't command me to care for them. Still, today my jeans and what they represent (the American dream) would be an issue in my life. It's not the fact that I bought the jeans or own the jeans that is the problem. The problem is in the role they play in my life.

It's not just the jeans. I find myself saying daily "If I just had a bigger house, a newer car, a Mac Book, an IPhone, a new wardrobe then I would be satisfied, content, joyful, and have the approval of man." The problem is I save. I buy one of the things off the list and .5 seconds later I add another "If I just had." For sometime God has been saying to me "Maybe if you would just get rid of all the crap then there would be room in your life for me to be enough. Me to satisfy you. Me to give you joy. Me to make you content." I seem to just ignore him.

I am lucky enough that God has given me a husband who loving leads me away from the temptation of "stuff" because I really don't want my children to be exposed to a mom who loves "stuff." My husband is an excellent loving leader. We have for some time been trying to decide where we would live when we moved back to Birmingham. My parents are in the process of buying our condo so my initial thought was "That's our out. We can buy a house!" You probably are thinking that's great. That condo is too small for two adults, a 4 month old, and an 80 lbs dog. Yeah, I have said that exact same thing (without a gentle and quiet spirit) more times than I should have. The fact is when I take off my American Dream Blinders it is a perfect place for our family to live during this stage of life. Yes, one day our family will expand and then we will need to consider buying a bigger house, but for now the good old condo will be just perfect.

The previous paragraph makes it sound much easier than it is. I have pretty much dug in my heals, wined, and complained about it since the decision has been made. But man I am being obedient right!?! I am doing this whole "radical" thing even if I am kicking and screaming. (BTW I think we should call it Biblical. It just seems Radical because of the lack of people living Biblically in the world. Myself included.***)

Then I began thinking about disciplining my children (not that you discipline a 10 week old but just hang with me.) When I tell my children what to do, I don't want them to do it just because I told them to. I don't want them to just obey and then complain and wine about it as they go about being "obedient." The purpose of discipline is not behavior modification it is heart change. I bet God feels the same way about disciplining me.

I've heard it said that delayed obedience = disobedience. I agree. As I have been wining and complaining about cleaning out closets and moving to a 800 square foot condo, I have been convicted of this: wining, complaining, bitter obedience is in fact not obedience at all. It is disobedience. The solution I don't have. I just know I am begging God to change my heart. Begging him to give me joy in the process of "getting rid of all the crap, so there is room for Him." It's not Radical. It's just Biblical.

***Disclaimer I totally love @plattdavid's Radical. You shoud buy it, read it, and obey it because it's Biblical. You should listen to the sermons too- they are Biblical too.

Redefined Dreams

Ten weeks ago tomorrow my life changed. Now, I knew having a child would definitely change some aspects of my life but I am not sure I was prepared for the magnitude of these changes. I have often found myself wondering the last 2.5 months if every new mom's life is turned upside down like mine has been, or if God is using my daughter in a very specific way to sanctify me. In some sense who I am, my identity has changed. I am now a mother.

The magnitude of my love for my daughter is indescribable. I can't believe I love someone in the way I love her. Now, I have a great marriage and I love my husband dearly. I can't describe to you that love either. I guess the love I have for my daughter is different than the love I have for my husband- not better or worse just different. My wise friend Becca described it this way, "You CHOSE to love your husband, you just naturally loved your daughter."

The love I have for her has driven me to my knees in a way I have never experienced. I am so burdened for the salvation of this little girl's life, that sometimes I find myself weeping over her as I beg God to draw her into a relationship with himself. The truth is, she was born in rebellion to God. Nothing good is in her. She is separated from the creator and sustainer of her life and she desperately needs him to save her from her rebellion and wickedness. (I have been convicted of my lack of desperation for others to know Christ because of the desperation I feel for her to know Christ, but we will save that for another post). Together as a couple we have begged God to give us wisdom to know how to train her in righteousness. I know God is the one who initiates a relationship with her and through his grace he is the one who gives her faith, but I firmly believe that God has entrusted her life into our care so we can create an environment for God to work in her life. So we beg God for wisdom to know how to do this.

In these times of seeking wisdom I have felt God leading me to (gasp) become a "stay at home mom." Yes, I just typed it and in fact I have even said it out loud to my husband. I believe obedience for me in this season of life (however long it is) is to stay at home and create an environment for the Lord to work in the life of my daughter. Why the gasp, the shock- because for 26 years of my life I have said "I will never stay at home with my kids."

You see I have dreams. Dreams of a counseling career that would bring honor and glory to God. Dreams of seeing people freed from unhealthy living to radical abandonment to the ways of God. Good, Biblical, Kingdom dreams. In addition to those dreams lurk the insecurities, "I am not cut out to be a stay at home mom." If I listed for you my strengths and weakness you would see qualities that glaringly say you should work outside the home. You certainly wouldn't find a list of strengths that meet the criteria for what I have always believed to be a good stay at home mom- crafty, good cook, good house cleaner, good with kids, etc.

These last 10 weeks God has debunked the idea of a stereotypical stay at home mom. He has whispered quietly to my spirit for me to be who he created me to be and to obediently follow his call to stay at home. I don't have to create a facade of the "stereotypical stay at home mom." He has promised me that he will be strong in my weaknesses and in my insecurities if I obey him. He has asked me to trust him, to let him expose my insecurities, to be obedient and he will take care of the rest.

My old dreams haven't disappeared. God has just redefined my dreams for this season. I want what he wants for me. You see in seventy years when I look back on my life I want to have left a legacy of radical devotion to Christ and radical abandonment to this world. I want that legacy to be left through my children and my grandchildren. I am committed to do whatever God commands me to do for that legacy to be left even if I feel exposed, insecure, and uncomfortable the entire time. His future promise is worth it.

Uncomfortable

I have this tendency in my life, that when God is moving me to a new place, I begin to feel a bit uncomfortable, and my fleshly desire is to run back to what is comfortable and trust myself not God. The thing I am learning is that God doesn't call me to live a comfortable life. In fact he calls me to just the opposite. He calls me to live a life a risk. The risk is putting away my fleshly desires and trusting his Word, no matter what the cost. I love Sara Groves' song "Painting Pictures of Egypt." The lyrics resonate in my heart. The Israelites had to trust that God was indeed going to deliver them to the promise land even if it meant being in the desert for 40 years. When it's hard and uncomfortable the tendency is to run back to what you know. Sanctification is about being uncomfortable. When God is transforming you from your old self into his image you can't be comfortable. The difference in my life today versus 5 years ago is that I really believe that God's Word will lead me to a land of milk and honey, and there isn't an option to not obey his Word.

The purpose of this blog is two-fold. First, for me to flesh out and process through the "uncomfortable" things God is doing in my life. The thing is God didn't create sanctification to happen in isolation. So the second purpose of this blog is for God to use what he is teaching me to somehow transform you. Most of these posts will probably be challenging for me to write and hopefully challenging for you to hear. Currently, I have lots of posts circulating in my heart. I am sure there will be season when you hear from me more than others and I am okay with that. For now I am going to leave you with the lyrics of "Painting Pictures in Egypt."


I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

CHORUS:
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I"ve learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise
And the things I know

BRIDGE:
If it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?