It's not Radical. It's just Biblical.

"I’d rather have Jesus than silver or gold; I’d rather be His than have riches untold; I’d rather have Jesus than houses or lands, I’d rather be led by His nail pierced hand. Than to be a king of a vast domain Or be held in sin’s dread sway, I’d rather have Jesus than anything This world affords today. I’d rather have Jesus than men’s applause; I’d rather be faithful to His dear cause; I’d rather have Jesus than world-wide fame, I’d rather be true to His holy name.He’s fairer than lilies of rarest bloom; He’s sweeter than honey from out of the comb; He’s all that my hungering spirit needs,I’d rather have Jesus and let Him lead."

The closer I get in my relationship to God the more I hate the sin in my life. More specifically the more I hate the materialism in my life. As I sit here and reread those lyrics, I think yes "I would rather have Jesus than this or that" but then I notice the designer jeans I am currently wearing (that I am embarrassed to say how much I paid for) and I wonder if I would I really "rather have Jesus?" Let's pretend for a minute that there aren't billions of people in the world living in poverty and that God doesn't command me to care for them. Still, today my jeans and what they represent (the American dream) would be an issue in my life. It's not the fact that I bought the jeans or own the jeans that is the problem. The problem is in the role they play in my life.

It's not just the jeans. I find myself saying daily "If I just had a bigger house, a newer car, a Mac Book, an IPhone, a new wardrobe then I would be satisfied, content, joyful, and have the approval of man." The problem is I save. I buy one of the things off the list and .5 seconds later I add another "If I just had." For sometime God has been saying to me "Maybe if you would just get rid of all the crap then there would be room in your life for me to be enough. Me to satisfy you. Me to give you joy. Me to make you content." I seem to just ignore him.

I am lucky enough that God has given me a husband who loving leads me away from the temptation of "stuff" because I really don't want my children to be exposed to a mom who loves "stuff." My husband is an excellent loving leader. We have for some time been trying to decide where we would live when we moved back to Birmingham. My parents are in the process of buying our condo so my initial thought was "That's our out. We can buy a house!" You probably are thinking that's great. That condo is too small for two adults, a 4 month old, and an 80 lbs dog. Yeah, I have said that exact same thing (without a gentle and quiet spirit) more times than I should have. The fact is when I take off my American Dream Blinders it is a perfect place for our family to live during this stage of life. Yes, one day our family will expand and then we will need to consider buying a bigger house, but for now the good old condo will be just perfect.

The previous paragraph makes it sound much easier than it is. I have pretty much dug in my heals, wined, and complained about it since the decision has been made. But man I am being obedient right!?! I am doing this whole "radical" thing even if I am kicking and screaming. (BTW I think we should call it Biblical. It just seems Radical because of the lack of people living Biblically in the world. Myself included.***)

Then I began thinking about disciplining my children (not that you discipline a 10 week old but just hang with me.) When I tell my children what to do, I don't want them to do it just because I told them to. I don't want them to just obey and then complain and wine about it as they go about being "obedient." The purpose of discipline is not behavior modification it is heart change. I bet God feels the same way about disciplining me.

I've heard it said that delayed obedience = disobedience. I agree. As I have been wining and complaining about cleaning out closets and moving to a 800 square foot condo, I have been convicted of this: wining, complaining, bitter obedience is in fact not obedience at all. It is disobedience. The solution I don't have. I just know I am begging God to change my heart. Begging him to give me joy in the process of "getting rid of all the crap, so there is room for Him." It's not Radical. It's just Biblical.

***Disclaimer I totally love @plattdavid's Radical. You shoud buy it, read it, and obey it because it's Biblical. You should listen to the sermons too- they are Biblical too.